Last weekend I had a breakdown and a breakthrough. And in my process I've learned to go with these things and allow them the space that they need and to allow them to teach me.
Have you ever noticed that we label a breakdown as a bad thing? Like it's a sign of being wrong or weak. Now if you allow yourself the breakdown and you sit with it and stay in that place it can be really painful and cause you not to continue to move forward. But, what if we tear apart the words and really look at them.
1. To cause to collapse; destroy: break down a partition; broke down our resolve.
2. a. To become or cause to become distressed or upset.
b. To have a physical or mental collapse.
3. To give up resistance; give way.
“To give up resistance, to give way” ? Yes, that sounds like the kind of thing that I want in my life. To give way? That sounds like growth to me.
When something is finally in pieces it's the best time to reassemble it, to put it together in a new way, or in a more solid way. It's a time to evaluate what parts of it are working and what aren't and to put our energies into the areas that need to be strengthened. To get to the depths of who we are and what is working for us we have to go down, internally to our darkest valleys. What fire burns there? What fire needs to be reignited? If you don't dig into that part of yourself, through a break down, will you ever really know how to go through?
And what about a breakthrough? What if the we visualized it as the tunnel to the other side. We've gone through the break, we've evaluated what is working and what needs to be secured and strengthened. Once we are at the root of it we can go through to the other side. And I love that part of the tunnel. When it's dark and you can see just a flicker from the other side and then *whoosh in an instant your eyes are overcome by the light of day. And everything looks new and different.
You have the choice. And choice is so powerful and full of opportunity. Those moments when you stand and the emotions and urges float to your throat. What about embracing them? What about stopping for a moment and allowing the breakdown to come? Allowing what needs to be inspected and re-evaluated the time and energy that it needs. And then when you see the glimmer of light coming from the other side, let the tunnel take you there. There is so much on the other side once you've opened your arms to it all. Why not turn a break down into something beautiful?