I'm finding that speaking my truth does many things. Some that I expected and some that I didn't. I expected to be mostly ignored and brushed over. I didn't expect for people to walk out, but I also didn't expect that people would embrace it. I am still in awe of all the girls that shouted “yes” and "more please." I didn't expect to feel more empowered every time I shared. I didn't expect to feel this deeper love for myself. I didn't expect to want to share more and more. I didn't expect to feel more solid and grounded in what I know to be real. These are all things that I'm learning about "truth."
After the initial launch I was feared that I had nothing more to say than those few posts, but what has happened is that there's so much to say that I stumble over it and get confused as to which way to go and what thing to give a voice to. I've wondered if the all the little things were truths and were worth speaking and I wondered if there were more big truths to say or if that was all
The truth is funny. It feels like the white rabbit from Alice In Wonderland. If you simply glance towards it and give it a moment, it becomes all you can think about and you run off chasing it, with no thoughts as to where it might lead, but you just know that you must follow and see where it takes you.
Some truths are big, they come riding in on a white horse with fanfare and drums. Those are the ones that will cause you to stumble a bit, to search and to dig, to feel a tremble in your belly as you begin to wonder if they even apply to you. When you start to believe them and know that they are yours, you long to do nothing but share them. And when you open your mouth, you wonder who's listening, who will still be listening when your words start to flow and still who will be there when you finish the last sentence that shakes them to the core. Yet, soon you discover, in the deepest parts of you, that the words must be spoken, regardless of the cost. They are the truths that when you declare them, they set you free. And the cost becomes insignificant.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Anais Nin
But here's a reminder not to underestimate the simple small truths. They are the truths that you live every day. The ones that you never really had to think about or that were big truths at one time and then they settled in with you, like a favorite sweater. They are the truths that comfort you in the darkness of night and that float around you when the big truths are too much to take on. Don't underestimate them. They are just as powerful and they belong here as much as the ones you've yet to discover. Write them down when you need to be reminded. Let them have their place at the table.
In some ways they all have equal weight. The small ones set the stones for the big truths. Without them there is no ground work. And when you simply don't know how to get to the big truths, when the weight of them seems to be too much, find comfort in the simple truths. Let them carry you, sit with them and let them speak, you might be surprised to find that they are the ones that lead to more.