The Lost Girls

Photo credit Martina Photography

Do you remember the Lost Boys from Peter Pan? The story goes that they were babies who fell from their prams and got lost by their nannies, they were then whisked off to the beauty that is Neverland and Peter Pan took them under his care.

Peter Pan also explains that there are no Lost Girls because girls are too smart to do such a thing as falling from their prams. While I love that part, I’d like to imagine for moment that it isn’t true. That we may be smart but that we can still get lost. That a girl can be just as lost as a boy and that if a girl is lost there is much that ripples out from the lostness.

I’m pretty sure there are millions of us Lost Girls. Girls who fell between the cracks, girls that were never told how mighty they are, girls who longed for a relationship with the mama’s that birthed them and are still left longing today. Girls who were afraid to be smart, afraid to try, and lost in the world around them. Girls who started from beautiful beginnings and then got tripped up along the way.

These girls grow and become lovers, partners, mamas, caregivers, business professionals, artists, and musicians. Some also become thieves, inmates, slaves and homeless. They are the ones who never move past the lostness. My heart hurts for them, most alone in their lostness. I understand how they get there. How the lostness becomes more than they can handle.

When I started talking about my heart for the Lost Girls with some women in my life who empower and encourage me, we talked about how the term Lost Girls carries a negative tone, it is heavy and causes people to resist acceptance. But I’d like to turn it around. I’d like to stop the dance of pretending that we are all in a place of found-ness and accept the Lost Girl title. I’m ready to claim it, to come to a place of knowing that while in my lost state I am claiming it and ALSO choosing to move in it. To not let it own me but to identify with it and to embrace that there are many of us Lost Girls.

Are you wondering if you’re a Lost Girl? Wondering what that means and ready to step in and claim your birthright? Are you ready to acknowledge it and heal it and then use it to rule this place called Neverland?

Lost Girls.

They struggle in their relationships.

They want connection but struggle to maintain it.

They use walls to keep others out.

They want to be vulnerable but are terrified of getting hurt.

They know that there is more to their life than the routine numbness of every day.

They want to dream, some do in fact dream, but they hold the dreams close to their hearts and quiver at the thought of letting them out.

They have tried to step out and achieve big things only to get burned, and the bitterness sets in.

Some Lost Girls look like they have it all together, they have perfectly styled hair and homes, they run a tight smooth ship and when thing go awry they freak out from the scared parts, in the isolation of their closets.


Lost Girls need someone to love on them, and they need to be taught how to love on themselves. They need comfort in coming into their identity, they need someone to walk with them and show them that they hold all that they need inside. They need to be reminded that they can trust themselves. They need to know that they are valuable and mighty and that they are not alone.

Right now it may seem out of reach, it may seem like a fairy tale. But I believe in the power of the Lost Girls. I believe they will be the ones to change the world, to turn things on end and to ride their wild horses in a tribe across open fields and into battle. They will join hands, they will cheer for each other and they will leave a mark on this place called Neverland, like you can’t even imagine.

Alicia Thiede, Soul Nurturer, Truth Whisperer and Lost Girl.