Your playing small serves no one

Photo Credit Lauren Treece

I've become really aware of something that I do. Something that seems noble and kind but I'm realizing that it's doing no one a favor.

When I want someone to like me, (stop judging, you know you want people to like you too) or to feel really good about themselves, I play small. Instead of asking genuine questions, I act like I don't know what I DO know. That's right, I play dumb. I ask questions to feed their egos, to make them feel really smart and important. And while I'm sure they leave feeling really great about themselves, I end up feeling small, insignificant, uninformed and standing in less wisdom.

I am realizing that I've done this for a long time. I don't know where it started or why. But tonight in the shower I was thinking about this and about what it does to me. I'm feeling really small in my life these days. And I acknowledge that it's partly because I've taken a sip of the "drink me" potion that I borrowed stole from Alice. Trying to get small. To fade into the grass. To disappear a bit. Or a lot.

I'm in a strange place right now. Both literally and figuratively. I am attempting to adapt to life off of the road. To living in a small duplex, which still feels too large. To staying in one place long term. To routine and predictability. I am attempting to find my way in this. To get grounded but still have my wings spread fully, spanning this space. To fill up this room with all of who I am.

And I am kind of fed up with the disappearing. With the wallflower dance, with the invisibility cloak. It's doing no one any good. Especially me. It's also not causing me to build authentic relationships or to go deeper with the ones that I already have.

I'm seeing so many great, and wise teachers all over the web. There are moms', fashion & makeup bloggers, life coaches,  and speakers. They all have something really great to say. But you know what? So do you. Your story isn't smaller or less significant than theirs. The only difference between their truth and yours is that they chose to speak it.

Miracle Girl, do you do this? Do you hide and cower. Do you doubt that the trials you've walked through have any value to this world? In hiding them, you're causing the rest of us to miss out on knowing you fully. AND you're not helping to empower the rest of us. It's time to show up. It's time to stop being the backup singer. Pick up the microphone, and walk to the front of the stage. No more waiting for the fairy godmother. It's time to sew a dress and buy some shoes.  You're going to the ball. And when you get there, it's time to dance, to sing, to shine. To share the wisdom that you have and stop hiding in the shadows.

What if you start now? Today, tell one truth about you. Believe that what you know, what you've walked through matters.  Confess a struggle you've overcome to a friend or even better proclaim your answers. Write them down but don't shove them in a drawer. Find a place to share them. Start by speaking them out loud in the dark, to yourself, to the cat. To anyone right there, in your space. The people around you can grow just by witnessing your strength.

What you'll find is that this is where our power lies. Once you start declaring your wisdom, your triumphs, then you stop trying to disappear. You walk a little taller, and you love yourself a little more.

You've got this. I can't wait to hear what you have to say.